Awkward Stage

I'm still waiting for my awkward stage to end.

Last night I went up to church to play human foosball with the teenagers.  I managed to get beamed in the head with the ball.  I also scored the winning goal.

For the opposite team.

Random Observations

I haven't been a fairly regular blogger lately, other than Porter's updates.  So here are some random observations that may provide some insight into my recent life.

Observation #1:  I don't blog very much during the summer.

I think it is something about it being light later in the day.  You will note that I didn't blog much last summer, either.

Observation #2:  There are funnier things than farmer tans.  

If you wear shorts one day and sunburn the tops of your knees, you'll have funny red spots over your knee cap.

If you go kayaking the next day wearing capris and get a tan on your shins, you'll have a really funny tan line.  ESPECIALLY if you were wearing tennis shoes.  Think white feet, tan leg to mid-calf, and then white leg to the knee cap where you are sunburned.

If you wear a knee-length skirt the next day the weird tan lines will show.  And if your husband tells you not to worry because no one will notice, think again.  They will.  It will become a conversation starter.

Observation #3:  There are overachievers who work with genius kids.

Some people have too much time and energy.  And really smart ten-year-olds.  I had to teach my activity day girls (10 and 11 year olds) about finances at our activity last Friday.  I went to Sugardoodle.net for some inspiration.

The suggested activities were made by women who came up with elaborate scenarios where each girl was given a certain size family and a certain income.  They paid taxes on their income so that they'd have a take home pay.  Then they had house payments, utilities, groceries, flat tires, haircuts, broken appliances, etc., etc., etc.

Yeah right.  I'm an accountant and this was over my head.

So instead we played an easier game called Moneypalooza I found on a different website.  There were four options: Earn, Spend, Share, Save.

Observation #4:  There is a difference between what a 10 year old finds fun and what a 27 year old finds fun.

I thought Moneypalooza was pretty boring.  I was feeling bad for the girls having to play it, yet they were doing it with such a good attitude.  Then one of the girls said, "This is so much fun!  Can I take it home with me??"

Observation #5:  If you say something to a ten year old, expect it to be taken literally.

After our finance activity I gave the girls otterpops.  One of them asked me, "How many can I have?"  Only three girls showed up for the activity so there were more than enough for them to each have a few otter pops.  

"You can have as many as you want."

The next thing I knew, she was taking half otter pops to store in her freezer.

Observation #6:  It is hard to dress your baby when he has so many cute clothes.

I know this observation makes me sound like the snobby American I am, but every day I struggle with what Porter should wear.  There are so many cute outfits he's inherited from his cousin.  I find myself thinking of this quote from Pinterest:

Which is just ridiculous because he's a baby.  But how can he possibly get to wear each outfit more than once, unless it is one of my absolute favorites??  

Observation #7:  It is hard to pack up your baby's winter clothes.

Since it is late June and our most recent cold front dropped us into the 70's I decided it was probably safe to pack up Porter's winter clothes.  

It was so sad.

When I pack up my winter clothes it isn't hard.  I know I'll see them again in a few months.  But Porter doesn't fit into most of his winter clothes any more and I can guarantee you he won't fit into any of them in a few months.  How come babies grow so fast?  And how come baby clothes are so stinkin' cute?

Observation #8:  The words to "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" are weird.

That is, until you look them up on Wikipedia to find out why the heck they are what they are and then you find out they aren't.

Did that make sense??

Anyway, you know the verse they sing in Alice and Wonderland that goes, "Twinkle twinkle little bat, how I wonder what you're at.  Up above the world so high, like a tea tray in the sky.  Twinkle twinkle little bat, how I wonder what you're at."  

All these years I thought that verse was completely made up by the drunk little mouse at the Mad Hatter's tea party.  Because, seriously, it makes absolutely no sense.  Then I bought a CD for Porter with 150 kids songs and that verse was on it!  So then I started to wonder if I was just missing something.

Well, Wikipedia didn't fail me.  Apparently this was a parody of the song written by Lewis Carrol in honor of one of his Oxford professors.  Who knew??

Observation #9:  You shouldn't read murder mysteries about a serial killers when your husband is at school late into the night.

You may just have to fall asleep listening to soothing music with all the lights on downstairs.  Not that I have any experience with this recently.

Observation #10:  All girls should own a Go-Girl.  

Ever been camping, hiking, kayaking, canoeing, or any other activity where the facilities are less than, well, clean??  (Or perhaps not even existent?)

You need one of these.  My mom found these online and I've since become a believer.

Try it.  You'll like it.

The Buzz

Porter needed a haircut.  I decided today was the day.  I plugged in Nate's clippers and Googled "how to cut hair using clippers."  You see, I've never cut hair before.

The website I found said, "The longest [guard] is a size 7 or 8, depending on the clipper, which leaves about an inch of hair on your head."


Nate's clipper set had a guard that had the number 8 on it.   This guard allows you to adjust it to different lengths.  Well, I wanted Porter's hair shorter than an inch so I adjusted the clipper.  I am embarrassed to say I adjusted it to the shortest length possible, thinking it would still somehow get me close to 1 inch.  (Sometimes I wonder how on earth I earned a master's degree.)


To make a short story shorter, after the first swipe with the clippers I realized the error of my ways.  Too late.


Porter cried and cried.  I kid you not.  He was fine when I first trimmed the back, but when I switched to the size 8 guard and took the first swipe off the front, he knew what happened.


He is now drowning his sorrows in milk.

Poor unsuspecting baby

Distraught after a haircut gone bad.

Life is always better after a nap.  And realizing hair grows back.

Multi-tasking

Here is what happens when you decide to switch the laundry over while toasting hamburger buns under the broiler:

Here is what happens when you decide to give it another go and toast new buns...and then decide to empty and refill the ice cube trays in the freezer:

And here is what happens when the fire alarm goes off directly over where your baby is napping:

Midnight writing

My little brother is serving a mission in Uruguay for our church.  Every Monday he gets to check his email.  I'm usually pretty good at remembering to send him a message but I forgot last week.  So I really wanted to remember to write him this week.

Last night when I was nursing Porter I remembered I hadn't emailed Tyler yet.  "It's my lucky day!" I thought as I glanced at the clock and saw that it was 1:50 AM.  I could still send him an email and he'd get it!  (Right now there's a 5 hour time difference between us and Uruguay and he checks his email pretty early in the day.)

Later this morning when I read his letter to the family he said a few things that made me think maybe he didn't get my email.  I was positive I sent him a newsy message.  So I checked my "Sent Mail" to make sure I sent the letter to the correct address.

I did send the email to the right place.  But here is the text of my email, copied verbatim (and I want you to know it was typed with one hand, so please forgive the typos):


"Dear Ty,

Merry Christmas!  We're all so excited to talk to you this next week!  

We're doing well.  The semester anf finals ended for Nate last Thursday.  He is enjoying time ff until January.  He quit his Dominos drive but so far they haven't noticed a big uptick in left since he died.

Christmas really snuck up on me this year!  I guess having a baby will do that to you.

love , Katie"

Pregnancy Brain

Before I was pregnant I vaguely remember hearing about "pregnancy brain."  I didn't know much about it except for that you seem to forget things a lot.

Well, I have pregnancy brain and I have it bad.

In the past month I have forgotten what I'm talking about while I'm in the middle of a sentence, forgotten to pay bills, forgotten half of my vocabulary, forgotten simple processes at work, etc., etc. etc.

My favorite episode, though, was the lunch incident at work a week or so ago.  Lunch time rolled around and I went to the break room to retrieve my sandwich from the fridge and to fill up my water bottle.  I filled up my water bottle and then remembered I left part of my lunch back at my desk.  So I walked down the hall, passing through a large group of people waiting for the elevators, and retrieved the rest of my lunch.

Lunch in hand, I headed towards the elevators so I could go eat outside.  As I walked, I remembered I needed a fork for my fruit.  So I walked back through the same group of elevator-waiters and went to the break room to get a fork.

As I grabbed the fork, I was hopeful that the people waiting for the elevator would be gone, because I felt rather ridiculous for walking back and forth past them several times like an idiot.  However, when I walked out of the break room they were all still there!  I stood with them and finally the elevator doors opened.  We all entered.

Just as the doors closed I remembered something.

My sandwich was still in the fridge.

I rode down all 23 floors with these people and then pretended to head to the bank located in our building's lobby, because I was too embarrassed to immediately turn around and go back upstairs while they all watched.  Once they all passed me, I snuck back to the elevators and rode back up to retrieve my lunch.

Fifteen minutes later I was finally enjoying my lunch and some much-needed fresh air outside.

Pregnancy brain is real.  At least, that's what I tell myself to make me feel better about my absent-mindedness of late.

Airbags and Seatbelts

If you are a facebook stalker, you know that I was in a pretty bad car accident last Thursday.  Let me just say, it was scary.  Here is how scary it was:

Yes, that is a car.  It is my car.  My very first car.  The car I own free and clear.

It has been a traumatic experience.  But I'm moving on.

So now I will answer the FAQ's:

Was the baby okay?
Yes, thank goodness.  If he wasn't, I wouldn't be writing this post.  They hooked me up to a monitor at the hospital and we heard the most beautiful sound in the world - his little heartbeat.  And then he decided he didn't really like the monitor, so he kept kicking it.  I don't think anything could have sounded better.


What type of car was that?
I know, it is unrecognizable.  It is a Toyota Corolla.

What happened?
As I explained to a friend (hi Melissa!), both cars wanted to be in the same place in the intersection at at the same time.  My car lost.  Not that the other driver's car was scratch-free.  But I think it will be reparable.  Mine...not so much.

Are you okay?
Yes, I'm doing fine.  Bruised and sore (please don't make me laugh too hard - that really hurts!) but I feel very blessed to have walked away from the accident in as good shape as I did.

Was the other driver okay?
Children, pay attention.  WEAR YOUR SEATBELT!!!  The other driver was okay, but she was more scraped up than I was.  Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt she was thrown to the passenger-side floor.  She ended up having to get some stitches.  I've been told she's okay other than the stitches.

Did the airbags hurt?

Not when they were going off.  To be honest, I didn't know they'd gone off until after the car was still and I could smell something funny, kind of like something burning.  Then I noticed the airbags.  Every single airbag in the car deployed.  Which later explained why everyone kept asking me if I was the only one in the car.  I was frustrated that they couldn't tell by looking.  It wasn't until a few hours later that I realized the couldn't see into the car because of the side airbags in the windows.

Now afterwards, yes, I hurt from the airbags.  But I'd rather have a bruise on my chest and scrapes on my arms than my head through the windshield or my ribs broken by the steering wheel.  And now I'm no longer afraid of airbags deploying because you don't know it's happening until AFTER it happens!

Words of wisdom?
Okay, so this hasn't been a frequently asked question.  But you get my advice anyway.

Wear your seatbelt and drive a Toyota.  It may look bad, but the cab came through without much damage.

Trying to be domestic

A few weeks ago I decided it would be a good idea to make homemade bread for our sandwiches instead of using store-bought bread.  My sister Rachel gave me a recipe quite a while ago that she said makes the best sandwich bread ever.  I actually made the recipe about a year ago and it turned out well.  This year...well...

Here is try #1:

As my brother-in-law so kindly said, "It looks like a brick!"

Try #2, using the SAF yeast called for in the recipe:

Surprisingly both loaves have tasted yummy.

I'm going to see if third time is the charm.  I have one more idea up my sleeve to try to get a loaf that actually rises.  If that doesn't work, I guess I'll be back to store-bought bread.