Awkward Stage

I'm still waiting for my awkward stage to end.

Last night I went up to church to play human foosball with the teenagers.  I managed to get beamed in the head with the ball.  I also scored the winning goal.

For the opposite team.

Feed me

My stomach is directly connected to my mood.  Empty stomach = bad mood.

When I worked at EY my coworkers knew that if they wanted me to remain pleasant through the late nights of tax season I needed to eat dinner before 6 pm.

Right before we got engaged Nate asked my coworkers (who helped him with the proposal) to, "Please make sure Katie eats dinner."  I guess he worried that empty stomach = no wedding.

So one of the perks to being pregnant and then nursing was that I did not need to feel guilty in the slightest for eating on Fast Sunday.

Today I informed Nate that I need to start fasting again, now that I can no longer use nursing as an excuse.  His response: "Oh my."

Random Observations

I haven't been a fairly regular blogger lately, other than Porter's updates.  So here are some random observations that may provide some insight into my recent life.

Observation #1:  I don't blog very much during the summer.

I think it is something about it being light later in the day.  You will note that I didn't blog much last summer, either.

Observation #2:  There are funnier things than farmer tans.  

If you wear shorts one day and sunburn the tops of your knees, you'll have funny red spots over your knee cap.

If you go kayaking the next day wearing capris and get a tan on your shins, you'll have a really funny tan line.  ESPECIALLY if you were wearing tennis shoes.  Think white feet, tan leg to mid-calf, and then white leg to the knee cap where you are sunburned.

If you wear a knee-length skirt the next day the weird tan lines will show.  And if your husband tells you not to worry because no one will notice, think again.  They will.  It will become a conversation starter.

Observation #3:  There are overachievers who work with genius kids.

Some people have too much time and energy.  And really smart ten-year-olds.  I had to teach my activity day girls (10 and 11 year olds) about finances at our activity last Friday.  I went to Sugardoodle.net for some inspiration.

The suggested activities were made by women who came up with elaborate scenarios where each girl was given a certain size family and a certain income.  They paid taxes on their income so that they'd have a take home pay.  Then they had house payments, utilities, groceries, flat tires, haircuts, broken appliances, etc., etc., etc.

Yeah right.  I'm an accountant and this was over my head.

So instead we played an easier game called Moneypalooza I found on a different website.  There were four options: Earn, Spend, Share, Save.

Observation #4:  There is a difference between what a 10 year old finds fun and what a 27 year old finds fun.

I thought Moneypalooza was pretty boring.  I was feeling bad for the girls having to play it, yet they were doing it with such a good attitude.  Then one of the girls said, "This is so much fun!  Can I take it home with me??"

Observation #5:  If you say something to a ten year old, expect it to be taken literally.

After our finance activity I gave the girls otterpops.  One of them asked me, "How many can I have?"  Only three girls showed up for the activity so there were more than enough for them to each have a few otter pops.  

"You can have as many as you want."

The next thing I knew, she was taking half otter pops to store in her freezer.

Observation #6:  It is hard to dress your baby when he has so many cute clothes.

I know this observation makes me sound like the snobby American I am, but every day I struggle with what Porter should wear.  There are so many cute outfits he's inherited from his cousin.  I find myself thinking of this quote from Pinterest:

Which is just ridiculous because he's a baby.  But how can he possibly get to wear each outfit more than once, unless it is one of my absolute favorites??  

Observation #7:  It is hard to pack up your baby's winter clothes.

Since it is late June and our most recent cold front dropped us into the 70's I decided it was probably safe to pack up Porter's winter clothes.  

It was so sad.

When I pack up my winter clothes it isn't hard.  I know I'll see them again in a few months.  But Porter doesn't fit into most of his winter clothes any more and I can guarantee you he won't fit into any of them in a few months.  How come babies grow so fast?  And how come baby clothes are so stinkin' cute?

Observation #8:  The words to "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" are weird.

That is, until you look them up on Wikipedia to find out why the heck they are what they are and then you find out they aren't.

Did that make sense??

Anyway, you know the verse they sing in Alice and Wonderland that goes, "Twinkle twinkle little bat, how I wonder what you're at.  Up above the world so high, like a tea tray in the sky.  Twinkle twinkle little bat, how I wonder what you're at."  

All these years I thought that verse was completely made up by the drunk little mouse at the Mad Hatter's tea party.  Because, seriously, it makes absolutely no sense.  Then I bought a CD for Porter with 150 kids songs and that verse was on it!  So then I started to wonder if I was just missing something.

Well, Wikipedia didn't fail me.  Apparently this was a parody of the song written by Lewis Carrol in honor of one of his Oxford professors.  Who knew??

Observation #9:  You shouldn't read murder mysteries about a serial killers when your husband is at school late into the night.

You may just have to fall asleep listening to soothing music with all the lights on downstairs.  Not that I have any experience with this recently.

Observation #10:  All girls should own a Go-Girl.  

Ever been camping, hiking, kayaking, canoeing, or any other activity where the facilities are less than, well, clean??  (Or perhaps not even existent?)

You need one of these.  My mom found these online and I've since become a believer.

Try it.  You'll like it.

Old Lady

The first week in our new ward (church congregation) another woman approached me.

"How old are you?  You look older than me but I want to make sure," she said.  When I told her my age she sighed in relief.  "Oh good, you are older than me."

A few days later I received this hint in the mail:

Dueling Sunbeams

Last Sunday was our ward's primary program.  The chapel was filled with parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, long-lost friends of the family, second cousins thrice removed, etc. all there to listen to the children sing and share what they've learned in church this year.

The program began normal enough.  The stand was filled with children - over 80 kids.  In fact, they didn't all fit up on the stand; there were three rows of kids sitting down in the congregation as well.  The younger children were, of course, squirming, not used to having to sit still for so long. 

The children sang the first two or three songs without incident. 

Then two of the sunbeams got bored.

Sunbeams, for those who don't know, are 3 turning 4 years old.  They are the youngest class that participates in the primary program.  This year, the sunbeams are the little children I taught in nursery last year, so it was fun to watch them participate in their first primary program.

The two children in question were standing next to each other.  At some point they declared battle; each decided to try to out-sing the other.

They didn't quite succeed in outsinging each other. However, they did manage to outsing the other 80+ kids participating in the program. 

Impressivley, they knew every single word to the songs they were singing.  Unfortunately, they didn't know every single note.  They were terribly out of tune.  Eventually they were shouting, "I LOVE TO SEE THE TEMPLE!  I"M GOING THERE SOMEDAY! TO FEEL THE HOLY SPIRIT!  TO LISTEN AND PRAY!"  Lets just say, that's not quite the normal rendition of that usually reverent song! 

The congregation loved it. I've never seen so much laughter during a primary program before.

At one point another one of the sunbeams covered her ears with her hands, turned to the duelers and said loudly, "SHHH!!!  Be quiet!"  This increased the chuckles in the audience.

The fun came to an end when the pianist (and mom of one of the duelers) got up and moved her daughter away from the competition, putting another sunbeam between the two.  Although they both continued to sing loudly, it just wasn't the same.  I think everyone was slightly disappointed.  Except maybe the mom.  This is probably one program she'll never forget!

Nursery no more

The day has come.

Nate got a new calling.  Therefore, he was released from nursery.

Apparently I can't stay in nursery without Nate.  So I was released too.

I cried.

For as much as I may have complained about how our ward sticks all the young couples in primary, I really loved my babies in nursery.  I love how they loved me, too.  I'll miss their smiling faces and I'll miss singing with them.  I'll miss how they called me "Teacher" and how they tattled on each other.  I'll miss hearing the funny, cute things they say.

I'll also miss how much faster church goes when you're in nursery instead of Sunday School and Relief Society.

So I guess it is my turn to grow up.  Let's see how this goes!

That's How You Know

Last week in nursery we had a lesson on families.  As part of the lesson I asked the kids how they knew their families loved them.

I asked the first little girl, "How do you know your mom loves you?"

She looked blankly at me, not sure how to respond.  So I prodded, "Does she give you hugs?"

She nodded and said, "She hugs me."

I asked the second little girl, who has all sisters, "How do you know your sisters love you?"

She said, "They hug me."  I asked her if they played with her, too.  She said, "Yes.  They give me hugs and they play with me."

Then I turned to a little boy, who is the youngest of three boys.  "How do you know your brothers love you?"

He smiled and said, "They hursd me."  I thought I understood what he meant and it was a surprise.  But since the other kids had just repeated what had already been said, I assumed that's what he was doing too.

"You mean they give you hugs?" I said hopefully.  He shook his head.

"They hursd me."

"Oh, they play with you?"  (I don't know where I got "play" with out of "hursd" but I thought I'd give it a shot.)

Again, he shook his head.  "They hursd me."

Finally, I decided to repeat back what I was pretty sure he was saying.  "You know they love you because they hurt you?"

He grinned and nodded.  That's how you know.

April Fool's

The weather was absolutely beautiful today.  I gathered with the tourists around Temple Square and began snapping photos. This way, when it snows on Sunday, I'll remember the cruel joke nature played on us today.

Sugar High

Lest you think I have forgotten about my little nursery babies, here is a story for you.

Every Sunday we have treats for the kids.  I want to state right off that the treats are supplied by the parents so the sugar content is not my fault.

Last week we fed them goldfish, teddy grahams, and fruit snacks.  Most of the kids ate calmly but one little girl devoured her fruit snacks in a flash and then started working on her teddy grahams.  When she ran out of her own snacks she started taking the snacks off the other children's plates.

"Her mom doesn't let her have any sugary snacks at home," one of our joint nursery leaders said.  I felt sorry for the poor girl and urged Nate to give her a few more teddy grahams.

About 20 minutes later I realized my mistake.

This little girl is usually rather timid.  She doesn't particularly enjoy nursery; the previous week she spent the first 15 minutes of class underneath the table while the other kids played with play dough.

Well, 20 minutes after her introduction to fruit snacks and teddy grahams she was having the time of her life.  She was literally running around in circles.  It was like watching a cat on catnip.

She shocked one little girl when she ran up to her, said, "I love you!" and gave her a huge hug.  Then she ran around in a few more circles, ran up to the same girl, said "I love you!" and hugged her again.

When her mom came to get her, the little girl ran and hugged her.  Then she immediately darted off again playing a catch-me-if-you-can game.  It took two of us to catch her.  I may have been bit in the process.  I'm hoping she doesn't have any diseases.

Needless to say, the little girl was not in nursery this past Sunday.

Cold Calling

As you know, I work in the nursery at our church, babysitting the two-year-olds for two hours each Sunday while their parents attend church meetings.  What many of you do not know is that I am also on the Relief Society committee.  This committee plans the monthly activities for the women in our church.

Lets just say, this isn't my favorite job in the world.  I was whining to Nate about it a few weeks ago and he told me that as soon as I start loving it, I'll be released (no longer on the committee).  I've never wanted to start loving something so much.

So, while I've been waiting to develop a love for this, I've had to help advertise for the different activities.  Tomorrow night, for example is a PJ night.  (I personally don't want to wear my pajamas out in public, but apparently it is a cool idea.)  I was asked to call 20 women to remind them about the activity.

I agonized about making the phone calls for a day and a half.  I have a love-hate relationship with the phone.  I love to talk to family and friends on the phone.  I hate calling people I don't know, trying to sell them on the idea of wearing pajamas in front of all their neighbors.

Yesterday I simply "forgot" to call.  It was actually quite honest forgetfulness.  I simply didn't remember.  Of course, I didn't do anything to help myself remember, either, like add it to my checklist of to-do items for after work.

Tonight I almost forgot again.  But I have this amazing guilt complex that brought the task to the forefront of my mind right as I finally sat down to relax after doing the evening chores.  Sometimes I think I should name my guilt complex, it plays such a major role in my life.  Tonight it kept saying to me, "If you don't call, you'll feel extremely guilty for the rest of the time you're on this committee.  You'll volunteer for jobs you don't want to do so that you can 'make up' for not making these phone calls."

Oh brother.

So I started down the list.  Mind you, I only knew 4 of the 20 people I had to call.  That's the problem with being in nursery.  I know the kids but not the parents.  Poor Nate had to hear me lament between each phone call, "Why are they all answering their phones?!  Why can't I just leave a message?!"

Three of the four women I knew on the list received my phone calls graciously and were quite pleasant.  The fourth woman I know didn't seem to know me.  The rest of the women...well, they responded like I would respond to a telemarketer.  Okay, maybe slightly better because they didn't say, "I'm not interested" and hang up.  But close to it.  There were long pauses after I told them who I was since they didn't want to commit to any sort of conversation.  After I told them about the activity, they said, "Uh huh.  Okay."  And that was that.

I can't say I blame them.  If someone I didn't know was calling me and telling me to wear my pajamas to church, I'd probably answer them the same way.  After each phone call I contemplated waiting until my lunch break tomorrow to make the calls, hoping to get answering machines.  But that lovely guilt complex would start to talk to me - "You're really not going to want to make those calls tomorrow-" and so I kept pushing on.  I finally made the last call.  It was the best of all:

Me:  "Hi.  I'm calling to remind you about enrichment tomorrow.
Her:  (tone of finality) "Okay, I appreciate the call."
Me: (Pause...waiting for her to hang up...but she didn't).  Um, okay, well you're welcome.
Her:  (Pause...waiting for me to actually give her any useful information, such as time and place).  Bye.
Me:  Bye.

So much for giving her the information she needed.  I just got too used to the telemarketer treatment and I was seriously expecting her to hang up at any moment.  Needless to say, I felt very stupid after that phone call.  But I would like to thank my guilt complex.  I don't have to make any calls tomorrow!

Nate & Kate...Plus 8

Whenever Nate and I go somewhere new and introduce ourselves, we always get a chuckle.  "Nate and Kate, huh?  Like the TV show?"  Hahaha.  No.  First of all, it was Jon and Kate and second of all it didn't end all that well and we have higher hopes than that.

However, in the past few weeks we have acquired 8 children, give or take one or two.

It all happened a month and a half ago.  A harried member of our bishopric interrupted Sunday School, asking for a couple to volunteer for an hour to help in the senior nursery (yes, apparently we have a junior and a senior nursery) as the assigned couple did not show up.  You could hear the crickets in the room as people very carefully avoided eye contact with the bishopric member.  Nate and I looked at each other and figured, why not?  It was only for an hour until the next couple came in, right?  So, like the naïve young couple we are, we volunteered.

Did the next couple come for the last hour of church?  I think not.

And the primary/bishopric found their next victims.

We have not been called to nursery.  But for the past month we have been subbing.  Our class is for the 2 and 3 year olds and we usually end up with 8 kids.  It has been quite and adventure and has taught me that I do not have the requisite energy to follow in octomom's footsteps.

It has also taught me the following things about 2 year olds:

1.  They don't know how to play nice.
2.  Their attention span doesn't even last 20 seconds let alone 2 minutes.
3.  They already know their gender roles.

For point three, I have a rather interesting example that makes me ponder nature vs. nurture.  I mean these kids are little.  How much socialization regarding gender roles can they have yet?

There is a massive toy box in the nursery room that is padlocked shut.  At 11:15 we open the box for play time.  The first week I was surprised that there were very few "girl" toys in the box.  Mainly just action figures, cars, trains, and a rubber snake.  The kids love the rubber snake.  They love to attack each other with the rubber snake.  They love to attack the teachers with the rubber snake.

Well, everyone seemed happy with the lack of dolls, barbies, etc. in the toy bin and who was I to say anything?  I'm just the sub.

Two weeks ago, though, things came to a head.  One of the little girls came up to me with the snake.  I was pretty sure I was about to get eaten alive, as that is what usually happens.  When she started to hand me the snake I asked her if it was eating me.  She said, "No, it's a baby."

Okay, that did it.  We had to find our girls some dolls.  No more carrying fake reptiles around and pretending they're cute little babies.

One of the moms was in the nursery with us and she said there used to be some dolls in a bin on the very top shelf of the nursery closet.  So I investigated and a few minutes later I found the dolls.  The bin was rather small but it was packed full of about six dolls and their bedding.  Well, the two little girls we had in nursery surrounded me instantly when they saw the dolls.  Within minutes, the snake's mommy had her doll tucked into bed and the other little girl (who is the 6th of 7 children) had her five dolls tucked into bed.

In my month of subbing nursery, I have not seen those little girls so content to play.

Then the first little girl said she needed to go to the store with her baby but she didn't have a car seat.  Wow, she will be a really responsible mom, if she's already thinking about that at her young age!  I told her to pretend the bin was a car seat which she did, and she went on her merry way to the store, baby safe and sound in the car seat.

Meanwhile, the boys were still playing with their cars, bouncy balls, and action figures, causing horrific crashes with the cars and hitting each other with the balls.  Just being happy, rambunctious little boys.

So it makes me wonder, nature or nurture?